As a beer drinking man of the world I feel continually persecuted by the government and doctors who feel that it is in my best interests to charge over-inflated prices for my beer.
The world has changed. My world of pubs and ENJOYMENT doesn't seem to exist anymore. It has been replaced by a world where work and the economy is more important. A world where drinking beer and watching television somehow takes second place.
The government and doctors have now decided that I am not allowed to keel over and die clutching my last bottle before I reach my three score years and ten. I must live to a be a hundred and survive on carefully controlled quantities of alcohol.
I know that this is not the kind of thing to write at 7.30 in the morning, but something needs to be said. We must all declare war on the government and doctors in order to keep our freedom of drink.

My wife sometimes accuses me of being miserly because I turn off the heating in rooms that are not being used. Compared with some of the misers fom history I am a spendthrift. Here are some people more miserly than me.

Hetty Green
Probably the biggest miser in history. Despite being one of the richest women on the planet. She would never turn on the heat or use hot water. She ony had one black dress and she would only change her undergarments after they had worn out. Her own son had to have his leg amputated because she could not find a free clinic for the poor.

The Collyer brothers
The Collyer brothers were wealthy eccentrics who came from a well to do, New York family. They became recluses and set booby traps in their filthy junk filled house. Their dead bodies were found under tons of collected rubbish.

John Elwes
John Elwes was a British MP who was thought to be the inspiration for the character "Ebinezer Scrooge". He would go to bed when darkness fell in order to save money on candles. He wore a wig that he found in a hedge and he would treat himself rather than pay for a physician.

Joseph Nollekens
Joseph Nollekens was a famous and wealthy Sculptor who lived the life of a poor man. He would sit at home in the dark and would only light a fire if guests called. His wife was also notoriously mean.

Yossele the Holy Miser
Yossele was a jew who lived in Poland in medieval times. He was so hated for his meaness that the townspeople refused to bury his body for several days.

I think I have every right to turn down the heating a little bit.