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Grand National

April 13th, 2012 at 10:03 pm

Today is Grand National day in the UK.
The Grand National is probably the most famous horse race in the world. It is run over a distance of four and a half miles making is the longest British horse race, over the largest fences, with up to 40 horses which is more than any other horse race in Britain.
The race was first ran in 1839 when it was won by a horse called Lottery. Since that time probably hundreds of horses have been killed, though records do not exist as to the exact amount. There have been many calls for the race to be abolished, but the race still goes on.
Almost half the population of Britain have a bet on the grand national and betting money adds up to over 300 million.
The prize money is worth 975,000. The horse gets a pat on the back and some nice straw.

Hairdressers.

March 20th, 2012 at 01:45 am

My wife has booked a hair appointment for thursday.
The last appointment cost 75.00 I dont get it. If I earned 75.00 in an hour and a half I would expect to do some work, not stand about gabbing and having cups of tea while the customer is sitting under a hairdryer.
The last time I went to the barbers it cost 7.00. I got all of his interesting converastion, but I didnt get a cup of tea. I think tea must cost 68.00 a cup nowadays.
Perhaps the difference in price is due to the amount of hair. My wife has lots of hair and I only have a bit.
Or it could be. When my wife comes out of the hairdressers I tell her she looks beautiful. When I come out of the barbers she tells me I look nice. 68.00 is the difference between nice and beautiful minus a cup of tea.
Anyway. while shes in the hairdressers I'll be in the barbers then go to the bookies. That way we'll be even.

Leave me alone I want a beer.

March 6th, 2012 at 11:32 pm

As a beer drinking man of the world I feel continually persecuted by the government and doctors who feel that it is in my best interests to charge over-inflated prices for my beer.
The world has changed. My world of pubs and ENJOYMENT doesn't seem to exist anymore. It has been replaced by a world where work and the economy is more important. A world where drinking beer and watching television somehow takes second place.
The government and doctors have now decided that I am not allowed to keel over and die clutching my last bottle before I reach my three score years and ten. I must live to a be a hundred and survive on carefully controlled quantities of alcohol.
I know that this is not the kind of thing to write at 7.30 in the morning, but something needs to be said. We must all declare war on the government and doctors in order to keep our freedom of drink.

Boiler mathematics

November 24th, 2011 at 04:21 am

We bought our guest house 2 years ago. It had an old oil boiler for heating the radiators and hot water.
It kept breaking down and was using a vast amount of oil. So after the first year we bought a new oil boiler. It cost 2,500 for the boiler and the fitting.
Well the new boiler is marvelous and it is probably saving us a fortune.
In the first year we filled the old boiler 4 times in a year. In the second year we filled the new boiler twice.

The old boiler cost us about 1260 in fuel costs.
The new boiler about 840.

At this rate I will be able to afford another boiler, but I don't know what I will do with it.
I would recommend an oil boiler to anyone except of course an Eskimo.